When I arrived, Anne, although weak and in pain, looked and sounded much better than when I had seen her last week. Things quickly shifted as her nausea set in. It took her a few hours to gear up for her evening walk around the 11th floor. Finally we set out, the beast in tow ( this is what Anne calls her IV contraption) but Anne was not able to make the first turn before the sight of the food trays in the hall set off her nausea again, so we made a pit stop until the ativan that the nurse had given her began to kick in. Meanwhile we watched as a tall vibrant woman was practically sprinting laps around the floor with her own chemo IV . Anne wanted to know who she was and what stage she was in with her treatment and initiated a converstaion This woman was a hopeful sign for Anne of what recovery could look like after several rounds of chemo. After her rest she was able to make it all the way around the floor.
That night sleeping in Anne's hospital room, I slip in and out of sleep with many surreal, hospital lased dreams. I dream that its Valentine's Day and Anne is standing next to her hospital bed all dressed up and preparing for a date with Dennis. She brushes her long silky shoulder length hair. Oh, a new hairdo for Anne I think. The next morning Anne, feeling better and less nauseated, models the hats that I brought for her and looks quite lovely in all of them. Later that morning, when she is in the shower I notice hair on her pillow. "Anne I think your hair is starting to fall out." Back on her bed I comb and rake my fingers through her hair. It comes out in handfulls, then Anne continues to pull out handfuls and handfuls of her own thick, beautiful hair, welcoming this next level of transformation and surrender. What strikes me the most being with Anne is her total lack of self pity, not a hint of poor me. And certainly, not one of us who has witnessed her would deny her the right to indulge, if she so chose. Throughout all of this Anne remains strong and clear, even in her physically weakened, and nausea/pain/drug induced cloud. In the midst of her suffering there is this pure unflinching willingness to undergo her passage with humility and grace. Each stage is met with acceptance. She is and continues to be an inspiration for me and for all of us who love her. Leslie
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3 comments:
I would like to say Thank You again for the updates. When you are so close, yet so far every bit of insight is such a blessing. One can only imagine what Anne is/has been going through. I am not surprised by her grace and dignity.
Anne has always been an anchor and inspiration to me. I feel she will be a lighthouse to many in the future who are going through and been through this same journey.
Once again, (as Dennis so aptly put it) I know it is not my place, however, I do want to express my gratitude and appreciation to all who have been in her "web of love and constant support" there. I'm sure you are rewarded in your experience with her. Many Blessings
Hi Anne and family,
I wanted to write a note to let you know that we are all thinking of you and praying for you daily. I was visiting my Mom (Sue) this weekend and we were looking at your recent photos and amazed at how much you look like your mother and like my grandmother (Eleanor). This is meant to be a compliment! You look wonderful even bald. Sending you lots of good energy for the road ahead. Love, Mimi Alberghini
Dear Anne and family,
You are in our thoughts and prayers daily. It is great to be able to read about your strong and determined spirit, and you look absolutely beautiful even without your hair.We are very grateful to be able to share this journey via the blog and photos. We want to be of service in any way that we can to you and your family, much love, anita ( & family)
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