Her Loving Presence Lives On.

I find myself slipping in and out of a dream state. It is as if I am straddling this world and the next. A part of me is with Anne on the other side. Somehow I have taken that journey with her. I suppose I truly have as she is still right here with me. I hear her voice and feel her presence as I go through my day. While the weight of all the lost "might have beens" can be crushing at times I am finding comfort in all that we did have. The opening to her spiritual presence keeps the true essence of the relationship very much alive. Last night I climbed into bed with her bathrobe held close to my chest. The feeling was different then times before when I was filled with sorrow. There was joy. She was right there. I could feel her embrace but it was around my heart not my body. In the morning it was like we woke together to begin our day together. I was filled with ideas for the day and eager to get going. The feeling was similar to the other morning when she came to me in a dream but somehow more tangible as I felt her bodily presence through the bathrobe. At times I realize I am still very much in shock, and most likely will be so for some time to come. But there is some wonderful sweetness as I slowly piece myself and my life back together with the loving, purity of Anne's spirit lifting me gently back into this world.
I don't know what lies ahead as each moment can hold a new realization or a painful reminder of her physical absence. I do know that the deep relentless sorrow has eased and given way to the heart connection that continues to evolve.

I have received an incredible outpouring of support through cards and calls from Anne's extended family, her friends as well as from my own. It is wonderful to hear about your experiences with Anne and stories you remember. It is the memories that we hold in our hearts that keep her right here with us and eases the pain of her absence.

The commemorative celebration of Anne's life will (as far as I know semi-officially) be held at the Graton Hall on Sunday November 4th at 2:00 P.M. Final details will be posted by the end of the week (I think).


Much Love to All,

Dennis

P.S. When I woke I heard Anne tell me to go to the movies tonight instead of the bereavement group. I was torn about not going to the group but felt compelled to go to the movies. I went to see "Michael Clayton". The first trailer they showed before the movie started was about a young couple. He is found to be terminally ill but before he dies he writes letters to her that are delivered to her in sequence over a period of time. Each one contained some experience she is to engage in so that she could always feel his presence and his understanding of who she is. I did not think it was a coincidence. I think Anne intended for me to see the trailer to let me know she is right there.