Life in the Unknown Zone

Yesterday was a series of disappointments. I went to the city the night before to be at the hospital at 8AM to have my central line removed. They had me on the table, when my nurse practitioner called and said not to pull it. I felt no matter why, I wished she had called ten minutes later and it had been too late. I also was pretty sure that it could only be the results of my bone marrow biopsy that could have lead to the call. And that it would be hours until I saw her and heard why. I managed to grab her in the hall about two hours later and get the short version. Here is the full version. I have the normal number of blasts (immature white cells), which means I do not have leukemia. However, some of these blasts show an aberration that my leukemic blasts showed, which implies that I could have residual or early leukemia. My doctor says it is simply too early to say. I will be weaned off the immune suppressant by the end of next week, in hopes of giving me more GVHD. They will do another bone marrow in a month. They may give me more of the donor stem cells, to provoke more GVHD, and also tip me more to being 100% donor blood and immune system.

Also my blood counts were the lowest yet, from the nasty anti-viral. I have stopped it, and my counts should recover in about a week. Meanwhile, I am still going to the clinic twice a week.

I feel OK, though tired, and a little low grade sinus/throat stuff. Hard to return to being more careful again, but I must.

So, my dear friends and family, please keep those prayers coming my way. Although I am somewhat bummed and fearful of GVHD's wild unknowns, I am relatively serene and happy.

Blessings,
Anne