Scattered Thoughts and Phone Calls

It is now just over a week since Anne left her physical body to fully embrace the spiritual world she felt so connected to. As the shock, although still very present, has begun to subside, I feel Anne with me more and more. She is present with me at work and is guiding my hands as I use spontaneous massage techniques on my patients. I'm not sure if I can call them techniques as they are strokes totally unknown to me yet they are having great effects. I choose to believe it is her spirit coming through and whether it is in fact so or not it brings me comfort. I have been comforted by my phone contacts with Mary Brent, and Harry who are gracious enough to support me as they go through their own grief process. I have received support from Angela, Stephen, Nancy and my own family. I spoke to Owen tonight and we're planning to meet for dinner Monday. I felt that Anne's love for the two of us was right there as we spoke and in that moment the pain was gone and an internal softness was present that has been absent since she became severely ill last month. I am certain that the last thing Anne would want is for those she loves to be suffering. If there was a way to experience loss without pain however, I would not accept it. I believe the pain is very necessary and important to guide us to higher levels of awareness and growth. It really only becomes suffering if it is pain for pain's sake and nothing else. I miss her with all my heart and I will honor her memory by living into my grief and letting it guide me to a greater sensitivity to myself and others.

We are working out the plans for the memorial. The obituary, although written, is still on Nancy's computer awaiting final editing.

Love to All,

Dennis